How to: Avoid your boss when you have a bag full of booze

It's 8 o'clock in the morning and you're waking up from your friends place to walk home. You grab all of your booze and place it in a drawstring bag. Naturally, you believe that this is a decent disguise and you don't expect anyone to see you in BROAD daylight. This is when you are unaware that you are in fact, still plastered.

It just gets better. The impossible happens as you walk down the hill towards the roads you see your boss riding their bike. You are already exposed on the street so you can't hide. Instead, you walk faster as if that isn't noticeable in the slightest. You pick up your phone, your ipod, and your ipad all at once to appear to be busy. As soon as they pass, minutes later your phone rings, and it's them. They are at your residence hall doing  only God knows what at the worst possible time and all you want to do is go to bed. Your boss askes the one question you don't want to hear.

"Where are you?"

SHIIIIIIITTTTT

Now these tips that I am going to provide you are very important. They may not apply to everyone,  but at least 30%.

Here is what you do.

• Remain Calm- I tried to sound as sober as possible
• Lie-"Where am I? oh I'm actually at breakfast"
• B line it to the fastest secure location without being noticeable that you're avoiding someone
• Wait it out

Every block that I crossed on my way to breakfast there was a Public Safety car. By the time I was inside I had no idea that the Svedka bottle in my bag was sticking out >.< However, I still maintained the ability to avoid the situation, and get to my dorm without any encounters with my boss.