Day 11 The burnout stage

I was genuinely hoping that my burnout phase wouldn't be until day 15, then by 20, I'd tell myself only 10 more days! No. I still have19, painful days. It wouldn't be so painful if my job didn't take up at least 10 hours of my day. I know this is only temporary, but I'm exhausted. This reminds me of those times were I would look forward to a glass of wine, then by the time I'd ride home I pretty much had to chug it before I slept. This is because my momma raised me not to waste alcohol, especially wine. That's reversing the class than having someone walk in my room, see the wine bottle and a glass laying on the floor as I'm passed out next to it. Wait, that's already happened.

Tomorrow I have off, and I've really been enjoying the gym for now. I can't wait until I get paid so I can get some new running sneakers and I can finally just take off. I really think that will keep me going. When I workout, I have more energy and this probably would not have felt like such a burnout period. However, I have been running around since 8am, thus leaving me here, sitting in my dorm, waiting for a boiler maker to appear in my hands to fight the sting of tonight's Celtics v Heat game. That was more disgusting than Miley Cyrus marrying the hot brother of Chris Hemsworth. Like seriously?

I'm falling asleep as I'm typing and I'm getting writers cramp.

Night y'all.

Day 10..a Poem

Rolling Rock came to town

Samuel Adams knocked them down

Tequila shots picked them up

Now were drinking long islands YUP

Soon they started feeling loose so now were drinking grey goose

Grey goose fell off a fairy now were drinking bloody merry

Merry died, now were huffing  formaldehyde

...Shit got weird.

Lame excuse for day 10. I'm dead to the world. Sorry guys

Day 9 It's Worth a Shot

Ok, so I'm really having a hard time just writing about how much I want to drink. Instead, I'm going to torture myself even more, and teach you how to make some of my favorite drinks. The first will start with is a Baby Guinness.

This shot was introduced to me by my friend Chris Sarbora. Got that ladies, Christopher Sarbora. He's hot shit, and if I were straight I'd already be on baby number three. I've only known him for two years. Wait a second, he's in a relationship I think. It can be a quickie.

So Chris, and I'm sure the entire Ireland crew at the time were at The Quays and he talks about this shot called a baby Guinness. I'm pretty sure a few of his buds were visiting at the time.Chris looks over to me and asks me if I've had it. I'm pretty sure I was already drunk, and I stared at him confused. Then he offers and asks "Well do you wanna go do one?". I'm pretty sure I was already standing up and walking to the bar.

Chris, his friend (I was really drunk) and I go to the bar and we order the shot to the bartender. What this bartender does with his hands were like magic. Trust me, I only look at a man's hands if he's cooking or making me a drink. He takes a shot glass, pours some Kahlua easy enough. Then, he takes Baileys with a pour top and gracefully, tops the Kahlua with the Baileys so it just rests there. It was as if they didn't even touch. I stared at him in disbelief. This wasn't because of his technique it was because the shot was about 6 euro.

The shot was delicious. It's hard to explain the taste. It's almost like a shot of a mocha frappacino at starbucks to me.

So the next day, during my hangover period, I thought about that shot. However, I knew I didn't want to pay for it all the time at the bar. I thought hey, why not make it and that will be cheaper? Riiight. I really meant, I should make this so I can have more than one shot!

So steps to making this delicious shot

1. You need a shot glass. I'm sorry, but having a glass of this isn't really appetizing, I tried.
2. Pour Kahlua so it takes up about 75% of the shot glass
3. Now, if you don't have a pour, take the bottle of Baileys (THIS IS IMPORTANT YOU MUST BE GENTLE) and slowly let it pour out. While it begins to pour, you want to turn the shot glass, so the bailey's can float on top.
4. Don't be discouraged if it breaks the surface tension and splits the Kahlua. In most cases, it will just float back up. That's the science of it. You just look bad ass making it just naturally rest because your drunken friends will think your Rafiki. At least mine did...Racist bastards.
5. Drink up!

Day 9 blows.

A Gallery of What Could Have Been in My System The Past 8 Days

First Mojitos...Let's fix something here....

Much better :)

My IV.

The best Cab in the world.

The whole bottle.

12 pack of that

All seven of these bottles

Only a Few Shots of that I wouldn't want to get crazy

six pack of this 

Duh

ONE WEEK

So today was my first day actually on the job, and I actually enjoyed it. For those who don't know, I am the Desk Operations Lead of Conference Services, so in retrospect, I make sure everything in the fore front is handled smoothly. I'm not saying it was much, and I'm not saying it was horrible. It was a job, it was a purpose after a week I have been there. It was needed. Now that I can finally implement my schedule, I can set up a more filled routine and a purpose. A purpose is something that many of my close friends will know that it is something I live by. I don't like it if I am of little or no need. With this, I can maybe not be so distracted from alcohol. What also helps, is finally hitting the first week. I anticipated that this would be the hardest for me mentally, especially this weekend. Alas, I survived :)

I think another aid to this, is admitting to my co-workers what's going on. Maybe have my own cheering section here, and encourage and even bigger celebration with the 28th comes in. Here's hoping. I'm in the midst of setting up my drinking crew now, and its a 3 member team...for now ;)

It still however is insane how often I think about drinking. It's such a communal thing for me. It's how I let my guard down, it helps others who are up tight relax. It is just something fun to do. I think what is also hard about all of this, is that I am completely isolating myself from any contact of it. I have debated going to a liquor store, (to start making my dream list) but I just feel like I question how strong my will power is. If I have someone place a drink in front of me, I think I would react just like a recovering alcoholic. It would be like giving into temptation. It's the same thing if Mila Kunis walked in my room naked and I was told not to react...or touch. It just wouldn't happen. I could see myself drinking, just like reenacting that sex scene from "Black Swan".


Happy First week Lauren. At least I'm proud of me. I have a plan, and this month will go over so soon :)

Tell someone you love them :)

I was going to post a smiley face, but this is to acknowledge the fact that another distraction will be heading my way. Season 5 of True Blood.... ah!

Day 6: A Day of Wondering

I am really pushing myself to get to day ten, so I actually feel like I'm accomplishing something. This week has been so hard for me because it has barely been a week. So many times I'd tell myself to just have one drink no one would know, or to start over and no one would know the difference. I couldn't do that to myself. If I never gave up with rugby, school, working out, I can't take this any lighter. I would only disappoint myself in the end.

Today was a lazy Saturday. I loved every bit of it. I watched American Dad, Mad Men (all that show is is smoking and drinking, but I love it!), worked out, had dinner. Today was just a chill day. It should have been a cleaning day, but obviously it wasn't so get off my DICK

You can tell it's very hard writing about something that doesn't involve alcohol, let alone writing about not drinking it.

I will hate Saturday nights until June 30th. I see those city lights downtown (okay, there isn't many but I've been living in a Utopia all week so I get excited) and all I want to do is go check it out. It's not that I can't just go out dancing and not drink. I don't even have the money probably for a cover....that I would want to pay for to drink. I can plan so many things for myself during the day, I can stay busy. It's at night that becomes a problem. After going for a two hour walk around south campus I wanted a glass of wine. I know exactly what wine as well. I want the Palmero Cab from the Orin Swift winery. NO EXCEPTION.

Alas, I have to wait 24 more days. That is a disgusting number.

Tell someone you love them and go drink for me this weekend. Get drunk and send me the empty bottle to pretend that I was there.

Day 5 Possible vegetarian?????

What I need for this week

Ladies and Gentlemen I found a new vice. Know this though, because I have been eating healthier, and working on my physical appearance it's only going to be used every 5 days. Seeing as how it's the only sweet thing I've had since I've been here.

Mountain Dew. Something about it calms me. Just like how excited I get for breakfast because its socially okay to drink as much coffee as I'd like to. That's it. These are other drug vices to repress my want for alcohol. I crave something that will get me going and caffeine is it. Seeing as how I'm not going to any other drug. I can do this.

Like I was speaking earlier I've been eating a lot better here. Grant it, that's because the food options here (mind you I only go to one dining hall) are far more exceptional here than Canisius. I think tuition here is $10,000 more (It may even be less) I would take it if I had the food services I have. The housing isn't bad, the only other piece is how the classes are. There is no excuse for not having a chance to branch out because I'm pretty sure there are like 60 options for Greek life alone.

Anyway like I was saying, food here=awesome. I'm on this tofu kick (the lesbian is speaking). I'm trying to eat healthy portions and not over eat. That is tricky when I'm used to having beer as a filler. That way I didn't have to eat a lot. I know, not the smartest thing that's come out of my mouth sadly it's true. I eat lean meats, and sea food. I don't think I've had any red meat since I've been here. I feel great! I actually thinking about starting to do research on if I can become vegetarian. Maybe only indulge in seafood.

Today has left me in a very tranquil state. It's been a raining gloomy day. With that though, it has provided an opportunity to look on the outside in, on what I want in life. I mean, now that I'm sober all the time all I can do to fill my time is just think (the first time I wrote that I totally said drink unconsciously, liquor you are still terribly missed). I am going to really see what lessons this teaches me. A promise to my readers, you will get a very long entry. It's going to be about the benefits and the struggles, and what it taught me.I think its best if I wrote all that bologna the eve of day 30. This is because if you know me then you know when day 30 hits I will be like

You know its true.