Day 4

   I'm getting very impatient. I get impatient with myself, with others, with the computer taking so long to boot up. I cannot relax for some reason today. Today was a bad day to say the least. Things, just didn't seem right. Nothing wrong with Syracuse I love it here, just everything else.
   I guess a bad habit of mine is when I have a bad day, hard liquor was a vice. I remember so many times during my senior year of my Undergrad my roommates didn't have to ask how my day was. They would simply seem me walk to the fridge, and pour myself a double shot of tequila. The time of day was never a concern. Even this past semester, I would have bourbon on the rocks, or scotch with a splash of water. These things pretty much took the edge off of whatever kind of shitty day I was having.
   Right now I am in a zero tolerance zone. Sadly, I thought this would come by day 20. In a way I guess I'm happy it's coming now so then maybe it can just get out of my system and by day 20, I can look forward to the ten remaining days I have of sobriety. This zero tolerance zone is self explanatory. I have zero tolerance for bull shit. You bull shit me you're either gonna get cut out or chewed out, or if your my computer you may get thrown out of the window. Wait, this can apply to people too. If you mess with me I'll just throw you out the window. It doesn't matter the size or body type, anyone who knows me knows I'm good for it.

So....yea. I'm going to lock myself in my room, pack to move to a new dorm, and watch television shows all night and keep to myself.

If you're not on my shit list, feel free to communicate as long as it is minus the shit.

I don't know anybody who like excrement, and neither do I.


Tell someone you love them, I guess.

Day 3 You know you miss alcohol when..

     You recognize every winery on EVERY television program. I have seen Layer Cake and Cup cake
as well as so many others that I don't remember I just want to find Jesus and drink his blood if it's aged well enough. Okay, that was Zombie like I'm sorry, it's just the new big thing.You know yesterday I was very positive about how well I was doing, until I realized that it hasn't even been  a week yet. This week is going by so slow. That is also because there isn't much in Syracuse past 8PM....but the bars. It's not as if I am avoiding them, I just haven't found a potential drinking buddy. I've made a few friends , just .not someone I know who won't judge me stealing campus property at 5:30AM on June 28th.

     I was talking to Jon about beer, and hard liquor. I may have told him how I'm trying really not to be the manager that buys a cooler and stores beer in it rather than food......(What he doesn't know is that I'll be the one to just buy a fucking refrigerator).

     He made a mention of Guinness, so then I had to think about my first time drinking it. I was in Ireland at Tig Coili with my roommates at the time (Of course, I was already drunk). I didn't know that its best to start out with a stout ,then proceed to lighter beers or blonde beers. For those who aren't familiar with any stout; they are very filling. I actually am a proud sponsor of the stout diet in Ireland. I lost 20 lbs, and worked out everyday. Hell, I want to lose weight now, but I have to do it like "Americans" by working out, eating HEALTHY making yourself throw up blah blah blah. So anyway, as I was saying the stout diet.

1. drink a stout
1. that's dinner
2. drink another sweeter stout or a lager

1. that's dessert
3. Drink everything else

1. Party time

     Then instead of dwelling with a hangover just go take a shower, go straight to the gym and shower again.

    I'm straying from explaining my first Guinness experience. So I ask for the pint and as soon as it comes out the draft it looks brown...like poop. The bartender sets it down so I go and grab it.

     Rule #1. DON'T EVER take a Guinness before its settled. They're temperamental like a women on their period you just gotta wait for that shit to be over.

     The bartender saw me do it (as well as the natives), and he took my hand and slapped it. "This be ye first warning woman. No, No, No, wait till she ready" he said.... He's lucky he was cute or I would have slapped his hand and said "Don't tell a black women not to touch something long and black"....This also would have been a good comeback if I were straight. Instead I was just like,

and went on my merry way when it was ready.

      And so, lesson for today is........I really don't have one for you. It hasn't even been 72 hours and I'm this close to hijacking all of the hand sanitizer dispensers and making that salt concoction to get the alcohol out. That's the new thing right? At least I'm not eating someone's face off in a bar for the liquor in their pours. That's just because I would just have bought a pint.

TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM!!!

Day 2: Uphill

    I had the pleasure of having lunch with my co-worker today. His name is Jon. He's a senior at SU, and very opinionated. I like him :) You wanna know what the first two questions were? If he was of age and if he drinks. He made a mention of Marshall street so I knew he was hinting about night life so I just had to ask. I was also thinking about Pina Colodas while I was eating my pineapple, oh! or a Mai Thai :) That's actually all I thought about this morning even when I was talking to Kristen (student in my cohort) in the study abroad office. I wasn't sure if I'd break my 30 days. I still wonder. I may forget at a social setting because it's second nature to me. Is it sad that I think about drinking in the morning and at night? I wonder if my supervisor likes wine and if so what kind? On another note, I'm proud of myself for not googling the nearest liquor store. Though I have thought about it.

  With that being said, I've learned (sadly from the media) is if you quit one vice, you fall into another. A vice I've always juggled with is eating. I associate that as a vice just as much as drinking. Watching television (I need chips or a beer), writing a paper (totally needs three glasses of wine or a snack). I am trying very hard not to use that as a vice because I am trying to live a healthy lifestyle and tone up my body a bit. I've created a workout plan for myself to do if I work too late and the gym is closed.

Workout plan for dorm

1.       Wall split -3min

2.       Pushups (10)

3.       Wall split- 3 min

4.       Pushups (10)

5.       Boxing combination-5 min

6.       Mountain climbers -50

7.       Pushups (20)

8.       Boxing combination-5 min

9.       50 crunches

10.   Brandon’s leg thing

11.   bicycle

12.   Pushups (10)

13.   Plank-60 sec

14.   Boxing 5 min

15.   Pushups (10)

16.   Wall sit-2 min

           This workout was about 45 minutes and there was a pool of sweat on the floor. I felt like I actually got a lot out of it. I played upbeat music and pushed myself. I will see in a week on how effective this is, or if it needs to be harder. 

             What also plays a factor is that I'm surrounded by Undergraduate students here. I mean I can be friendly and socialize, but its not going to be easy developing a friend base. One junior was very nice to me this morning, she showed me around. A lot of people here are very hospitable and I enjoy that. It makes me enjoy my time here, especially when I can't fill my time in the bars currently. Another reason why I'm avoiding making friends, I don't know if I can handle drinking pop or water at a bar. Yes I just said pop, I'm from Buffalo deal with it. 

             Lesson of the day: Stay busy, Stay focused, Stay energized. I wrote, worked out, read, and wondered. This was a productive day. If it's not as humid I'll try tackling the bike against these hills

I    I'm either going to be really fit and have calves of steel by the end of the summer, or I may be on suicide watch.

P   Wish me luck?

    Oh and tell someone you love them. You could be surprised the last time they heard it :)

Day 1: Heat=Drink

You know, its gorgeous days like these when the sun's beams just beat against your skin making you soak in all of its glory that a nice cold beer sounds so refreshing. I can taste the wheat and the hops in my mouth as it slowly cools my throat. Or Or! even something colder, like a margarita on the rocks (plain though, I don't go for the fruity stuff). Maybe even a Mojito with extra mint.

This may turn into a 30 day list of all the things I COULD be drinking. Don't mind me if I repeat myself, it's just that I have favorite drinks which obviously means all of them.

I just spent an hour on wine websites. Particular this one about Orin Swift ...
If I get married, these are the wines people will be drinking. I'm making the owner make a champagne now.

Champagne sounds sooo good.

This is a pointless entry. It is just full of random thoughts in my head. The funny thing is, I'm hungry, but food is not a priority now. This is a realization, that I drink more than I eat, and I have alcohol fat instead of the typical fat kid saturated oily fatty foods fat. Is that good or bad?

At least I did a little exercise today. I want to go out and do something, but I'm afraid my senses will subconsciously place me in a bar ordering a double of bourbon on the rocks. That sounds fantastic right now.

I cannot even remember a dessert that doesn't have alcohol in it. I put alcohol in everything.


It just hit me, I'm being detoxed right now. This is why I sound like a crack baby.

The Eve of the Beginning

Today marks the eve of my first 30 day challenge. I am actually very calm and ready for it. I plan to focus on myself, and I think I had a habit of using alcohol as a vice. This should be fun!

HOWEVER

Tonight is the night is the night....

   That I'm gettting....DRUNK!

30 Day Challenge x2!!

 May 28th, I'm going to challenge myself to go THIRTY DAYS WITHOUT DRINKING

This means...

• Have a sip of alcohol
• I cannot eat anything with alcohol in it
• I can't even have an act of desperation and try the whole Hand Sanitizer fad!.....although that's really fucking gross.

That number looks huge when it threatens my habit.

So basically, I can't look like this

 I actually may be compelled to look like this do to lack of the best beverages created by man...

Sad, I know. No one likes to see me like that. BUT THE SHOW MUST GO ON!
 I have to prove to myself that I can stay sober for 30 days anyway. That is the main reason why I'm doing this(so a certain someone can cease calling me an alcoholic). I want to see how much $$$ I save, as well as how my body reacts from a lack of this fine elixir. I'm sure I'll realize other things, but I'm not that bright right now, seeing as how I'm drinking as I'm writing this.

But wait, there's a....

 TWIST!!!!!

 As June 28th arrives, I will do nothing but DRINK FOR THIRTY DAYS. yes, when that day hits, shit will get real.

Now this doesn't mean that I plan on being drunk every night (although I'm sure I will be 5 days out of the week). I just want to start having at least a drink everyday for thirty days to see how my budget reacts as well as my body. This is all a learning experience on how I can push myself.

During both instances I will be eating right, and exercising regularly. So no worries, I will be taking care of myself. I understand my limits, and if it got to a point where it was better for my health to not drink or in a realistic sense, not to drink as much, I will slow down or stop.

I just can't wait though so I can go back to this

  So to wrap up

1. May 28th no drinking for 30days
2. June 26th...Party time,

Everyday I will keep a track. If I fail to blog then I am failing the challenge. I want to make sure that I am committing to this experience.

Wish me luck? It's totally fine if you don't support this. This means we were never friends to begin with =D

Sweet message of the day: Give someone a hug today, you'll never know how much they may need one.