It's interesting how we all have vices. We have things that bring us joy, ease stress, or just simply fill a void that we choose not to admit to. I could have almost said that alcohol was that for me on all three notes, but now I know I truly think the opposite. These next four days for me will be a synch.
Aside from the next part of my challenge were I have to drink everyday, but after I don't see a need to do so. I know longer feel dependent on it. I never get to the end of my day and think about how badly I need a drink. I do so now because I've been depriving myself but it seems like these feelings don't occur everyday for me. That makes me very happy to come to that realization. Of course, If I buy a new bottle of wine I'll be excited to try it that night just like an 8 year old can't wait to eat their ice cream cone on the ride home. I have finally reached a state of stability were I won't rely on it. Now matter how good it is.
How long will this last? Well gee I haven't got the slightest clue. I know winter influences more drinking, but that's just because there's nothing to do. Right now, I like how healthy I am. I have been feeling strong, and energized. I can motivate myself to wake up in the morning with out the side splitting headache and the debate on if I need to hug my toilet. I like this part of sobriety. However, maybe it is because I'm still young, whenever I go out, there is still this part of me that wants a drink. I can have fun sober I know this, but it's just the complete experience of it all. I'm glad that I was never in a state were this could no longer happen, because then I would cease going out. My goal is to never get like that, or like the people around in my life that I have seen become that obliterated. I never saw the fun in getting that drunk, that you pass out, vomit and keep drinking, or even worse things. I think the fun turns into a test of living and considering liquor as your prime crutch. Tis a scary thing to see.
My apologies for getting so serious on you. I just want everyone to realize that fun doesn't have limits, its just a matter of how you play the game of life; of taking chances. There is no trophy or cash prize for downing 21 shots if your body can't take it. If it can, rock on. Just make sure that you all are being smart out there while you drink. I need my drinking buddies around.
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